READERS RESPOND: Should you "friend" your students?

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Permalink Reply by J.V. Bolkan on May 1, 2009 at 2:13pm

My short take on this is "yes, of course". However, I highly recommend having a "school" page and an anonymous one for your non-professional social interactions. It really is no different than giving out your school e-mail and keeping a private account that the students don't get. If your only purpose on Facebook is to interact with your students, you can get by with the single account.
The problem comes from the very nature of social networking. If you're friending more than just your students, you're in a bad position. You can't control what your friends and contacts might post on your page (and you may even be "liable" for what they post on their own pages because a link there is on your page). Basically, you've informally "introduced" your friends and your students to each other, but they may be unaware of it. A typical social networking behavior is to follow the "degrees of seperation" and click on one of the friends of a friend and see if you recognize anyone.
Can you (do you want to) vouch for not only all your friends, but their friends too?

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Permalink Reply by Jeannine Ortiz on May 1, 2009 at 3:42pm

Should I friend my students on Facebook? Are you talking about those twelve year olds in my life who dominate my days? Those frenetic preteens whose energy and drama keeps my classroom buzzing from 7:30 until 2:45? Definitely not. We have to draw the line somewhere. After all, they already think we hang on hooks waiting for their arrival each morning. They believe our lives consist of lesson planning and grading papers. I think I’m ok with that. I’m not sure they can handle all sides of me. I know I don’t need to handle any more of them.
I’m not suggesting that we allow students to think that we have no lives outside of school. It’s healthy for students to know that our lives are complex, just like theirs. We can share an appropriate amount of information about our families, interests, studies, travel, etc. . . This is beneficial in promoting a respectful learning atmosphere where our passions outside the classroom might translate into engaging lessons and activities for students.
I’ve struggled with how much to let my students know about my personal life. If allowed, they would spend hours asking questions about whatever topic I allowed them to explore. Granted, this might be a work avoidance strategy, but I find that maintaining a respectful classroom where students know what the expectations are is the best learning environment for them. If some of them were “friends”, they might feel that deadlines no longer apply to them, or the established boundary between student and teacher does not exist for them. This is where the blurring of the line begins. I’ve seen it happen. In an age where teachers have to be hypersensitive to the relationships we establish with students, why would we want to jeopardize our reputations to have students friend us in the same way our adult friends do? It’s not appropriate, even if there’s nothing inappropriate about it. Our job is to teach them, engage them, lead them, and mold them, not “friend” them. I’ve stayed in touch with hundreds of students over the years, and the ease and popularity of Facebook seems like a tempting way to do that. Do we really want our students knowing who our adult friends are and what they’re doing? I think not. I might friend a former student who is now an adult, but not a child, and definitely not a current student. In an age of technology where blogs and social networking sites are everywhere, we could easily set up a more educationally-centered site for networking with students and former students that is separate from our adult social networking site. For example, my district has started a summer reading networking site where students and teachers can network and blog about their favorite books and other academic topics. In this way, the focus is educational, but the discussions could include other appropriate content without any risk of giving a wrong impression or revealing too much of your personal life. It’s all about balance.

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Permalink Reply by Scott Merrick on May 2, 2009 at 4:56am

I'm coming down on the "Con" column on this issue, with two important amendments.

1) As the teacher of 5-11 year-olds who's seen the last of his third graders from an early three year stint as a classroom teacher graduate from high school (you do the math:), I now have a population of young adults I never would have allowed into my PLN as under-aged students. I gladly accept friend requests from those students, from as far away as Princeton and UCLA. Student children are now becoming adult friends, at least in the limited way that Facebook and Twitter might facilitate.

2) Now that I teach many more students as the lord of a computer lab, I think its incumbent upon me to "friend" students in a closed system in order to help guide them in ethical and safe online networking. I'm finding that Quest Atlantis, a virtual world from Indiana University, is perfect for that. Every single one of my 72 4th graders is a "friend" to me in that system, which allows for us to instant message one another through "telegrams" no matter which of the many worlds our avatars may be exploring.

One quick paraphrased anecdote illustrates the value of that first amendment to my "Con" stance. A month or two ago, one of my former students posted a Facebook status update that "I just can't get to work. So much to do but I can't get started." I commented, "You can do it, (name), I'm about to logoff after several hours of work--passin' the torch to you!" He replied, before I could get signed out, "Thank you, Mr. Merrick! I guess you'll always be my teacher."

Case closed.

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Permalink Reply by Herb Coleman on May 4, 2009 at 9:05am

As a community college professor, I could see where one might be OK with "friending" students on Facebook depending on how you view socializing with students. Initially, I even added a student on my, MySpace account several years ago. I personally try to maintain certain boundaries especially while they are my students. The is especially crucial for me since I sometimes teach a human sexuality course and don't want to blur the relationships. I don't hang out with my students. I don't invite them over to my house. If I see them when out on the town I speak and might even spend some time. I usually don't buy them drinks or let them buy me one. Now, when they become former students, I relax those boundaries a bit.

However, the key, I think, is what do you think is the purpose of Facebook. For me, Facebook is a way for me to keep up with and communicate with my social circle. My contacts fall into a few categories: family, friends of family, work friends, high school friends, college friends, local social friends, online friends (you guys), and finally, friends of friends. As family goes, my son (26) and my brother are friends. I'm not sure I could "friend" my mother (if she was online) or my father when he was alive but, I could my sister, my daughter (33) and my other brother as well as cousins. That's how I use Facebook and many of us from work do get into some light banter frequently sprinkled with double entendre's. Nothing too, risque (I'm savvy enough to save that for emails and phone conversations). I tend to think of Facebook as kind of a happy hour. Just a place to meet, shoot the breeze and catch up. This is not where I want be with my students.

For networking with students, this forum (Ning) is much better. You can create a group for each class or each subject. There is also Wiggio (wiggio.com) where you can do online collaboration. I see no need in reinventing the wheel so I just use Blackboard; our schools web portal. That, along with email, and phone calls take care of most of my electronic communications with my students. Facebook remains my own private social network.

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Permalink Reply by Marsha Redd on May 4, 2009 at 10:06am

Exchange heard in a high school hallway:
Librarian: Hey, how’s the play coming along? Are you ready for your big role?
Student: I think it’s going fine, but I’m pretty nervous.
Librarian: I know you’ll be great. See you after the performance.
This is the kind of interaction that I have with high school students both in person and on Facebook. Yes, I am a Facebook user, and yes, I friend high school students; more specifically, I accept their requests for friendship. I never ask them to friend me.

Some see this behavior is unprofessional. To that I respond: if you see students at the mall or at a restaurant and they say “Hello,” do you ignore them? Of course not. It’s perfectly acceptable to carry on a pleasant, “friendly” conversation outside the boundaries of the school building. I don’t view the digital environment of Facebook as being all that different from that of other public spaces. I behave professionally at school, at the mall, or online. I realize that Facebook is a public space, and my postings and those that I allow on my page are professional. This would be the case even if I did not friend students. The students, however, do not always understand the public nature of social networking sites. Might it not then be seen as a benefit when an adult whom they respect models appropriate behavior on these sites? These are great avenues by which educators might provide guidance.

I originally got started with Facebook when I was asked (actually begged) by my son, who had just gone off to college. I was absolutely thrilled that he wanted to keep in touch with me, and I jumped at the chance to keep up with what was going on with him. Some of his friends then asked to friend me, and then their parents asked. When students want to friend me, I feel complimented that they wish to share their lives with me. They enjoy it when I wish them a happy birthday or make a comment about how nice they look in the prom pictures they post. I do these same kinds of things in person at school too. It's just another way of connecting with them. Some see this behavior as inappropriately “hanging out” with students. If that is the case, then I guess I’m “hanging out” with them at school too because I take every opportunity to make connections with them. They still know that I am the adult, and they respect that.

There was a time in which teachers could be fired for smoking or drinking (on their personal time, no less). I’m sure there was at one time or another a host of other such rules governing the behavior of educators. Today we would find these restrictions ridiculous. The times, my friends, have done what they always do. They have changed. This is a digital age, and our students are digital natives while most of us, the educators, are digital immigrants. We can't effectively teach them until we can reach them, and as long as we have digital accents, we are impeded.

Marsha Redd
marsharedd@mac.com

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Permalink Reply by Kelli Zellner on May 4, 2009 at 11:22am

As a High School Media Specialist, I have colleagues who not only ignore students’ friend requests but also intentionally misspell their own names on Facebook as an additional layer of defense against students finding them. While I do not find this measure necessary, I do not friend students on Facebook and have rejected their requests. I always include an explanatory message, telling them I will accept their requests after they have turned twenty-one. If students are still interested in friending me after they’ve been out of school a few years, I welcome the opportunity to stay in touch with them; however, I feel Facebook needs to remain firmly a part of my personal, not professional, life, and as long as the student is in school or is still in frequent contact with students in school, she remains connected to my professional life.
On occasion, I have thought Facebook may prove useful in distributing information to students or in holding group discussions; however, my school system provides other tools—email, Wikispaces, server space for teacher Web sites, school Web sites, and e-school newsletters—that combine to obviate the need for utilizing Facebook for this purpose. School system designees have determined that the above-mentioned tools meet the state requirements for use by educators and students in Maryland. Though not integrated, they provide all necessary tools for educational collaboration and communication, and in our system, teachers are only supposed to use sanctioned technology to communicate with students. We’re not even supposed to email students from personal email addresses. In addition, Facebook is in school blocked by our firewall, which sets up a mixed message if educators use it with students outside of school.
But personal preferences, school system rules, and technical issues aside, in theory, the notion of using Facebook with students interests me:
One might argue that Facebook’s place as a natural part of students’ daily lives makes it the best choice for school communication, building on their existing schemata and enhancing learning.
At the same time, using Facebook for school may blur the professional/personal line for students as much as for educators. In this regard, there is conceivably some benefit to students recognizing one tool as appropriate for school (i.e. Wikispaces) and another as appropriate for social purposes (Facebook). Making this distinction and creating this structure for them might support future decision-making regarding similar tools.
On the other hand, if the tool used for school communication is also one used with friends (Facebook), students would get practice in exercising self-control and good judgment in deciding what to post to a class’s or teacher’s wall versus a friend’s.
But one must consider: When a student does something inappropriate, perhaps virtually humiliating a classmate in front of peers, what is the educator’s culpability? Would the school system support her? Ultimately, until Facebook is sanctioned by one’s school system and appropriate administrator tools are in place to prevent and manage such occurrences, I think the wise educator will avoid using social networking platforms like Facebook with students.

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Permalink Reply by Herb Coleman on May 4, 2009 at 1:53pm

Marsha Redd said:

There was a time in which teachers could be fired for smoking or drinking (on their personal time, no less). I’m sure there was at one time or another a host of other such rules governing the behavior of educators. Today we would find these restrictions ridiculous. The times, my friends, have done what they always do. They have changed. This is a digital age, and our students are digital natives while most of us, the educators, are digital immigrants. We can't effectively teach them until we can reach them, and as long as we have digital accents, we are impeded.

Marsha Redd

Sadly, Marsha it is still the case that a teacher can be fired for drinking off the job. Even when it's not proven that she actually consumed alcohol.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0426072pirate1.html

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Permalink Reply by Herb Coleman on May 4, 2009 at 2:44pm

In the interest of full disclosure, I just read the judges decision in this case and as usual, the press (and the plaintiff) left out some key points (like her student teaching evaluations and the real reason she was let go had to do with comments about her supervising teacher on MySpace as well as the school policy against publishing info about the school on personal websites). The pirate picture probably had little to do with it or was just the sprinkles on the icing of the cake.

Herb Coleman said:

...
Sadly, Marsha it is still the case that a teacher can be fired for drinking off the job. Even when it's not proven that she actually consumed alcohol.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0426072pirate1.html

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Permalink Reply by Marsha Redd on May 4, 2009 at 5:03pm

Herb Coleman said:

Marsha Redd said:

There was a time in which teachers could be fired for smoking or drinking (on their personal time, no less). I’m sure there was at one time or another a host of other such rules governing the behavior of educators. Today we would find these restrictions ridiculous. The times, my friends, have done what they always do. They have changed. This is a digital age, and our students are digital natives while most of us, the educators, are digital immigrants. We can't effectively teach them until we can reach them, and as long as we have digital accents, we are impeded.

Marsha Redd

Sadly, Marsha it is still the case that a teacher can be fired for drinking off the job. Even when it's not proven that she actually consumed alcohol.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0426072pirate1.html

Actually, the article states that she was charged with promoting underage drinking. That is not quite the same as what I was referring to when I said that a teacher could be fired for drinking. I haven't heard of any cases of a teacher being fired for something such as having a glass of wine at a restaurant or a beer at the local tavern. In times gone by, teachers could be fired for such things in addition to, as I mentioned, smoking. (And I'm not talking about smoking with students.) This article does, however, support my point that we all need to realize that Facebook and Myspace are public places. I would not post such a picture on my page for those reasons.

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Permalink Reply by Marsha Redd on May 4, 2009 at 5:07pm

Scott Merrick said:

I'm coming down on the "Con" column on this issue, with two important amendments.
1) As the teacher of 5-11 year-olds who's seen the last of his third graders from an early three year stint as a classroom teacher graduate from high school (you do the math:), I now have a population of young adults I never would have allowed into my PLN as under-aged students. I gladly accept friend requests from those students, from as far away as Princeton and UCLA. Student children are now becoming adult friends, at least in the limited way that Facebook and Twitter might facilitate.

According to the Facebook rules, users must be at least 13 years of age. I wouldn't friend elementary age students either.

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Permalink Reply by Matt Levinson on May 4, 2009 at 8:46pm

Yes

Since when did lying become the new social norm? If you walk into any school today and ask students if they have a fake identity online, chances are that 90 percent or more will raise their hands. When asked why they lie online, many give the answer that they do not want "weird" people to know who they are. Others enjoy the game of identity creation, while others want to skirt age restrictions and happily fill out online registration forms with false ages. "It's just a number," one student says. The ethical implications of such thinking for educators and parents are huge. Are kids learning that lying is the new social norm? Well, in the words of one educator, "at least they are smart enough to know that they shouldn't share their personal information online."

How should parents and educators even begin to tackle this dilemma? One prudent way, according to one student, is to let kids know that adults trust them, but "it's the rest of the world" that is the problem. When adults impose restrictions on kids, particularly related to online activity, kids often feel slighted and even disrespected. This is far from the case in most situations. Adults do genuinely worry about kids online, and they want their children to be safe. The problem, though, in the words of one student, is that "adults don't really have a clue about what goes on online." Kids recognize the gap in knowledge and comfort between themselves and "the grown-ups," and they actually are sympathetic to adult naivete.

Some kids, out of fear of being kicked out of a guild in World of Warcraft, for example, freely admit to lying about their age just so they can continue to be a part of a virtual community. The number of mail accounts kids use often touches double digits and kids traverse email, chat, and game sites with amazing ease, not thinking twice about shifting identities from one venue to the next. There is a certain freedom in detachment, but it also complicates thinking when kids then confront ethical dilemmas in real time. Kids need role models to help them learn, but the challenge with online life is that there are no adult role models available; at least, no adult role models with any kind of “street cred” with kids. That is a scary prospect, particularly concerning the ease with which kids lie online. Just ask any random student in a school how they circumvent school filters to get on Facebook and you will get a quick reply to check out flitools.com. It is uncanny how quick students are to openly subvert attempts by schools to safeguard their online activity.

How to create community for children in schools, particularly regarding online social norms, is a rising challenge for educators and parents. It cannot be done in isolation, and it needs to involve the insights and recommendations of kids. They are the digital natives, after all.

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Permalink Reply by Matt Levinson on May 4, 2009 at 8:50pm

Since when did lying become the new social norm? If you walk into any school today and ask students if they have a fake identity online, chances are that 90 percent or more will raise their hands. When asked why they lie online, many give the answer that they do not want "weird" people to know who they are. Others enjoy the game of identity creation, while others want to skirt age restrictions and happily fill out online registration forms with false ages. "It's just a number," one student says. The ethical implications of such thinking for educators and parents are huge. Are kids learning that lying is the new social norm? Well, in the words of one educator, "at least they are smart enough to know that they shouldn't share their personal information online."

How should parents and educators even begin to tackle this dilemma? One prudent way, according to one student, is to let kids know that adults trust them, but "it's the rest of the world" that is the problem. When adults impose restrictions on kids, particularly related to online activity, kids often feel slighted and even disrespected. This is far from the case in most situations. Adults do genuinely worry about kids online, and they want their children to be safe. The problem, though, in the words of one student, is that "adults don't really have a clue about what goes on online." Kids recognize the gap in knowledge and comfort between themselves and "the grown-ups," and they actually are sympathetic to adult naivete.

Some kids, out of fear of being kicked out of a guild in World of Warcraft, for example, freely admit to lying about their age just so they can continue to be a part of a virtual community. The number of mail accounts kids use often touches double digits and kids traverse email, chat, and game sites with amazing ease, not thinking twice about shifting identities from one venue to the next. There is a certain freedom in detachment, but it also complicates thinking when kids then confront ethical dilemmas in real time. Kids need role models to help them learn, but the challenge with online life is that there are no adult role models available; at least, no adult role models with any kind of “street cred” with kids. That is a scary prospect, particularly concerning the ease with which kids lie online. Just ask any random student in a school how they circumvent school filters to get on Facebook and you will get a quick reply to check out flitools.com. It is uncanny how quick students are to openly subvert attempts by schools to safeguard their online activity.

How to create community for children in schools, particularly regarding online social norms, is a rising challenge for educators and parents. It cannot be done in isolation, and it needs to involve the insights and recommendations of kids. They are the digital natives, after all.

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